TW: Discussion of a mental health crisis & thoughts of self harm
I never really saw myself as a writer. Of course, I’d whip out my best writing skills any time I needed them for a paper or what-have-you in school, but I can’t say it was something I particularly enjoyed.
Until I went through one of the worst traumas I’ve personally experienced.
The following story has been modified and some information withheld to prevent breaking an NDA.
In January 2024, I was the most confident person in nearly every room. There was nothing that could shake me. I had done the work, I had built myself up – I was the picture of young success.
A few months later, however, I discovered my identity was stolen by my employer.
I used to work a lot, and as a result, this person had become a good friend of mine. I’ll spare the details to prevent overstepping, but I can’t begin to explain the profound sense of betrayal experienced, and am still working through.
By October 2024, I was severely depressed. If I’m being completely honest, I would not have survived to the end of the year if it weren’t for my dog.
I had to learn the hard way that my confidence and mental health weren’t as impenetrable as I’d previously believed. After months of stress, mental breakdowns, and the initiation of a lawsuit: I was in financial ruin. I lost my home, my job, and my side business in one fell swoop. I no longer trusted anyone in my life and I had to beg my parents to help me move across states and let me and my dog move in to my brother’s old bedroom.
And yet, I consider myself extremely lucky.
Truth be told, my situation could have happened to anyone, – and it did happen to at least a few other people I worked with – but I had a support system, my dog, and connections to get a new job. Things could have been a million times worse for me.
Another stroke of luck was finding a way through my trauma via writing.
I couldn’t afford therapy, so I needed a way to organize my thoughts and work through my feelings. Journaling gave me a necessary outlet to process what I had been through.
Before I knew it, a year had passed and I had documented my entire recovery & reformation process.
I am not the person I used to be. At the moment I’m writing this, I am still working through the repercussions of my experience. Fortunately, recovery isn’t necessarily the goal anymore: growth is.
The way I embody confidence is different now. The way I seek out peace is different now. The things I find comfort in are different. The way I express myself is entirely new, but it excites me.
As I have recounted my journey through my many, many journal entries, I found myself wanting to share as much as I can with others. If I can recover from the worst mental health crisis of my life and find myself again in only one year, then I have to believe this is an achievable process for anyone.
I’m not saying my process will be right for everyone. To be honest, my only hope is that at least one post, maybe even just one sentence, resonates with someone else out there. If I can help only one person, starting this blog will have been worth it!
I plan to share tips and tricks that are well-researched as well as my own anecdotal stories to finding confidence. If there are any topics you read about that you’d like me to write on, you can feel free to reach out to me at any time!
With love,
